Suicide Joke by Greg Silva · Published August 21, 2011 · Updated December 14, 2018 A version of this piece was recorded for the SRP Radio Podcast. Stream or Download Drama Queen Humor Are we too late for the viewing? My ex-girlfriend keeps threatening suicide. The only reason she doesn’t do it, she says, is that no one would come to her funeral. I told her not to worry; that I would come to her funeral, and I would bring a date.