Evangelicals Prepare I TOLD YOU SO Signs For Jesus’ Return

Signs Of the End Times

Look . . . up in the sky . . . it’s a bird . . . it’s a plane . . . it’s JESUS!

A spokesman for Hobby Lobby has confirmed that millions of Evangelicals have purchased millions of dollars worth of art supplies recently to prepare “I Told You So” signs for the imminent return of Jesus Christ.

“Yeah, we’re expecting him any day now,” said the rep, who asked to remain anonymous just in case the event doesn’t happen. Which begs the question, What are you going to do with all those signs if the event doesn’t happen?

“There’ll always be a use for them there signs. Every time a Supreme Court decision goes our way, or a Republican gets elected, we’ll pull out the damn signs; fire off a few celebratory rounds from our AKs; burn an effigy of Obummer. I dunno . . . there’s always plenty o’ hatin’ to be done in the name of our Lord and Savior.”

We also asked what the rest of us are supposed to do with all those signs if the event DOES happen.

“You can just stand there and cry and rend your clothing asunder, for all I care. You guys’ll deserve every bit of hellfire that’s comin’ your way. And I think I speak for all Evangelicals when I say we can’t wait to watch the show from the coolness of Heaven above!”