Adventures In Nekkidness: A Boy and His Stick

The Rod Of God

There once was a little boy with a magic stick. A divining rod. A divine rod. The rod of God. It pointed to God, always; assuming God was UP!

When other little boys saw it, they said, “Why do you have a boner?”

“I dunno,” was the response. “It just does that.”

Word got back to the parents of the other little boys. And before ya know it, the whole world wondered if Magic Stick Boy liked other little boys; rather than other little girls, as he was supposed to.

“Nonsense!” declared the father of Magic Stick Boy. “No son of mine is gonna grow up to be homosexual, no matter where that stick points.”

A few years passed, and the magic stick began pointing straight out to the world. The boy understood this to mean that out there in that wonderful world lay a magic hole; a special hole for his special stick. But he had never seen such a hole, because his mother wouldn’t let him.

So he did the only thing he could do with his magic stick that stuck straight out. He played symphony music on the stereo, really loudly, and hopped up and down to the beat. A naked conductor bouncing his beautiful breathtaking built-in baton. In time to the music.

Joyful, joyful
We adore thee
Rod of glory
Rod of love