Valet Log: 102111 — My Just-Don’t-Give-a-Shit Phony Smile
A convincing phony smile is a must in the service industry. I recommend practicing in front of a mirror until you stop crying.
Valet Log
Valet Log: 101311 — The Power and Glory Of Being a Parking Valet
Don’t let anyone tell you that being a parking valet doesn’t involve possessing loads of power. It’s the kind of power that irritates the shit outta everyone.
Valet Log: 101111 — Don’t Look At My Boobs Poem
SMILE AT GIRL: Imagine Captain Kirk as a middle-age parking valet, working with people whose parents are 10 years younger than he.
Valet Log: 100411 — Invisible Valet Strikes Again
INVISIBLE VALET: Imagine Captain Kirk as a middle-age parking valet, working with people whose parents are 10 years younger than he.
Valet Log: 100311 — Sign Language
SIGN: Imagine Captain Kirk as a middle-age parking valet, working with people whose parents are 10 years younger than he.
Valet Log: 100211 — Girl Walking By Poem
GIRL WALKING BY: Imagine Captain Kirk as a middle-age parking valet, working with people whose parents are 10 years younger than he.
Valet Log: 092311 — Across the Universe
Valet Log: Imagine Captain Kirk as a middle-age parking valet, dreaming of an adventure . . . across the universe. A journey into nothingness, and back.
Valet Log: 091511 — Hey, Big Tipper
GENEROUS WOMEN: Imagine Captain Kirk as a middle-age parking valet, working with people whose parents are 10 years younger than he.
Valet Log: 091211 — Parking Cars Is Like Attracting Women
Imagine Captain Kirk as a middle-age parking valet . . . here discussing how parking cars is like attracting women. Just don’t get in a wreck.
Valet Log: 081311 — To Boldly Stay Where All Have Gone Before
TASTE IN MUSIC: Imagine Captain Kirk as a middle-age parking valet . . . commenting on the shitty music basting in people’s cars.
Valet Log: 072111 — Bad Boy Valet
Imagine Captain Kirk as a middle-age parking valet . . . a bad boy, subverting the music in every car. It’s what Tyler Durden would do.
Valet Log: 071111 — Nice Puppies!
Imagine Captain Kirk as a middle-age parking valet . . . ogling a well-dressed female pedestrian with . . . nice puppies.