It takes so little to please post-pubescent boys. I swear to God, if I had been exposed to naked females at an early age, I wouldn’t have spent so much time looking for them in my teens and twenties.
There once was a little boy with a magic stick. A divining rod. A divine rod. The rod of God. It pointed to God, always; assuming God was UP!
Showing pictures of naked hippies to 10-year-old boys. Watch gleeful giggles turn to tormented frustration and, finally, suicidal boredom.
Mother’s boobs are not simply a source of nourishment for toddlers. They’re also squishy play toys. Wait . . . they’re not? Oh, sorry. My bad.
Potty Training and Beyond: It seems I was always destined to poop in front of an audience. These days, it’s just my cats, thank God!