City Life, Part Four: Hostile Gum-Chewing

The CTA Freak Show

During one of my recent late-night train rides from work, I happened to sit in front of an elderly woman who was thoroughly enjoying her gum. She was hunched forward, so that her mouth was right behind my head. I turned to look at her. It wasn’t exactly a dirty look. It was more of an inquisitive glance.

Well, that was a mistake. That’s when she really turned it on! I looked again. Her face was distorted with exaggerated chewing. This went on for the next 20 minutes, until I exited the train at my stop.

All I can say is, I hope she had a good time. I mean it! I would hate to think she went to all that effort only to feel guilt over hostile gum-chewing or disappointment that I didn’t smack her.