I’m a Liberal and I Like Trump
I’m a liberal and I like Trump. Yup, you heard right. I mean . . . come on, liberals! What’s not to like? We’ve never had a President who was this hilarious. And on a daily basis!
Funny How . . . Like a Clown . . . I Amuse You?
Don’t get me wrong; I’m a HUGE Obama fan. But for eight years, my admiration for Obama was always being pissed on by Republicans. I couldn’t share my glee for Obama’s intellect and facility with language — not to mention his sense of humor and basketball skills — I couldn’t share my joy to the world without getting stepped on by Republican trolls.
And I voted for Hillary. But can you imagine what a mess we’d be in now, if Hillary had gotten elected? It would be a mess without any of the entertainment value of the current mess. It would have been worse than the Obama years. Much worse!
You thought Trump and the Republican Congress and Rush Limbaugh and Fox News and Alex Jones and Breitbart were delusional and obnoxious before the 2016 election? Just imagine the shit-flying circus if Hillary had gotten elected? There would have been riots and bombings and assassinations.
And frankly, I’m just not in the mood for all that. I’m exhausted not only by the last eight years of constant Republican buttheadedness, but also by the 2016 election. What a freak show! And I mean that as a compliment.
Godzilla TV
How can anyone — and by anyone, I mean everyone except old-school Republicans — not have thoroughly enjoyed watching Trump demolish the rest of the clowns during the GOP debates? Godzilla cut a path through Pleasantville, obliterating a bunch o’ nice boys and girls who smiled and dressed well and played by the rules. And I loved him for it! Reality TV doesn’t get any better than that.
And thank God there’s at least one person who doesn’t crumble when the PC police show up. I suppose there are a few others out there who would double down on their public vulgarities and imaginary claims if they had the fuck-you money to get away with it. But right now we only have No Collusion Don. Don’t forget, he alone can fix the system. And if he does nothing for the rest of his term(s) but thumb his nose at the media’s drama queen tendencies — specifically the click-bait headlines, very much like the one attached to this article — if he trains us to disregard these distractions, President Trump will have done the world a service.
Another reason I like our big orange buffoon-in-chief is . . . well, who else could have made Ted Cruz shut up and go away, but the only person in the world who lies more than Lyin’ Ted? No doubt Ted will return with something yuge. But thank you, Mr President, for giving us a break from that prick. It’s as if you extracted a burr from our shoes and we can walk free for a time; however brief that time may be.
And speaking of going away, check out the dozens of panicky Republican lawmakers exiting stage right before the 2018 midterm elections. Cowards, all of ‘em! I say they should stay and take their shellacking properly, the way Democrats did in 2010.
Naked Hypocrites
Perhaps the best part about the Trump rollercoaster is that the hypocrites are all naked. Where’s the “You lie!” guy?
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If Hillary had gotten elected, there would have been riots and bombings and assassinations. And frankly, I’m just not in the mood for all that.
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And if not applauding and not standing during the State Of the Union address is treason — as Trump supporters shouted during a recent rally — then nobody is guiltier than the Republican Congress during the Obama years. What rip roaring fun it was year after year watching Jon Stewart’s montages of Republicans remaining seated, arms folded, glowering like juvenile delinquents in the principal’s office through every one of Obama’s speeches! Every one! Treason, I say! Lock ‘em up!
The world is also a better place because Evangelicals don’t even try hiding their hypocrisy anymore. Condemning Bill Clinton and embracing Donald Trump just to replace Antonin Scalia? I mean . . . come on Evangelicals! Just admit that you don’t really believe in Jesus anymore or follow his teachings. And I’m talking about the real Jesus here. Not your imaginary friend who approves of your political views and condemns all others’. I mean, would the real Jesus bake a fucking cake for a gay couple? Sure he would! And he would go to the wedding and he would provide the wine (if ya know what I mean) and he would dance with the bride (whomever that may be).
The Sweet Hereafter
I used to love watching The Apprentice. It was a great way to learn about basic business concepts; like cooperation, competition, project management, and workplace egos. And now we have the best reality show there ever was — The White House, starring the greatest paranoid, insecure, megalomaniac since Nixon; but not as smart, and prone to more gaffs. Not to mention, my President enjoys letting everyone know, every day, that he could blow up the world if he so chose. “Hey world, you’re fired!” BOOM!
The word “ridiculous” literally means worthy of ridicule. Trump, and the people who showed up at his rallies chanting “lock her up”; Rudy Giuliani foaming at the mouth about Benghazi during the GOP convention; Alex Jones insisting that Sandy Hook never happened, that it was a government hoax; Fox News misrepresenting everything Obama ever said or did — these people all deserve to be laughed at and dismissed. What else is there to do with them? There’s no reasoning with them. They don’t care about facts or fair play.
Unlike most of my liberal colleagues, including our news outlets and social media, I refuse to get worked up over these lunatics. I can spend every day outraged over Trump’s tweets. Or I can do something away from all that madness that might do some good long after Trump is gone. Like read a good book. Or write one. Or marry a good woman. Or make people laugh.
Clever, my dear boy. As always.
Thanks, Doc!