My Evangelical Mother Says a Real Man Is a Playboy and a Scoundrel
Real Man: Do women who pant for onscreen bad boys inadvertently groom their sons to grow up to be like their idols?
Valet Log: 031811 — Scent Of a Woman
Imagine Captain Kirk as a middle-age parking valet . . . farting in a Cadillac. Mmm . . . reminds me of . . . Mom. Home. Grandpa. Tears in my eyes.
City Life, Part Eight: Bickering Homeless Companions
Bickering homeless companions remind me of Joe Buck and Ratso Rizzo. An odd way to warm my soul during a cold valet shift.
SRP Translator (3): Girl Chip
Girl Chip: Have you ever worked with a woman who is twice as macho and tyrannical and sadistic as any of your male co-workers?
SRP Translator (2): What the American People Want
Have you ever noticed that the American people want a lot of contradictory things, and their desires change from speaker to speaker?
SRP Translator [1]: Liberal Bias
Conservatives who complain about LIBERAL BIAS generally have to use binoculars to see the center of the political spectrum.
The Latin Luffer Speaks, Part Tres
Some men go out for hamburger when they can have steak at home. Me? Quality meat arrives on my doorstep and begs to be let in. Like a dog.
Valet Log: 030911 — The Miseducation Of Parki G
Imagine Captain Kirk as a middle-age parking valet . . . a street hustler with a fly rapper name and a deck crip walk.
City Life, Part Seven: Everybody Outta My Way!
Crazy People: Is it me, or is it you? I’m never quite sure. And if you ARE sure, then you’re probably crazy.
Head Scratcher: 1 — Your Mom Was Wrong
Common lore, amongst women, assumes that men only want one thing. Not true. They want two. Big ones. In their hands and face. All the time.
City Life, Part Six: Invisible Segregation
I could swear there are invisible segregation monitors throughout Chicago. Come on, people . . . try the road LESS travelled, for a change!
City Life, Part Five: Flying Rubbish
For a moment, a late-night duel between a demented rubbish flinger and a dutiful parking valet seemed like a matter of life and death.