Valet Log: 060111 — Street Parking Battles

Just a Valet

We have no lot at this particular Bucktown location. Only street parking. That means we drive around the neighborhood until we find a legal space.

Tonight I gleefully found several such spaces at the end of a nearby residential side street. After parking the third car there, a rotund, toothless old woman, sitting on the front steps of her house, yelled, “You’re just gonna fill up all the spaces on this street, aren’t you, so that none of the residents have any place to park!”

“Where are we supposed to park?” I responded.

“That’s not my problem,” she snapped. “We pay for these spaces!”

“Our company pays taxes, too, ma’am,” I replied.

“Residents have priority!” she shouted.

As politely and professionally as I could, I stood at attention, like a boy scout, and stated, “Ma’am, if we didn’t park our cars here, guess what — our customers would just do the same thing on their own. And the restaurants that we work for in this neighborhood — they all pay taxes for street privileges, too. And the people that go to those restaurants also pay taxes.”

She asked, “What are you, a lawyer?”

“No, ma’am,” I replied, with a military salute. “Just a valet.”